Climb Every Mountain

Does the place where you live really affect the kind of life that you lead ? If you mean the location, the city or the village, then it is obviously true. It does affect your quality of life, in terms of the facilities and infrastructure available to you. Also every city or village has its own unique energy that gets infused into the blood of those living there. Growing up in a very academic place like Thiruvananthapuram (phew..it was easier to type Trivandrum but wary of the big brother) was surprisingly fun. I had my own shares of adventures, secret picnics, badminton tourneys, hazardous rock climbing etc. But after engineering where I didn't qualify to even appear for the very few campus interviews, I knew I had to leave for another city where opportunities existed for not so studious yet obviously bright students like me.

Convincing my parents was the hard task. They were very adamant that I keep trying for some little job somewhere in strike infested, communist thriving capital of Kerala. Their friends had somehow convinced them that it's better off getting me married and living somewhere closer to them. It was a task which had no good handling handbook. I reasoned with them. My friend's elder sister had gone to Bangalore and found a good job. My friend was planning to join her and invited me along. We could tackle the new place together. My friend grew tired waiting for me and went on ahead. I started kicking up hell at home. For some reason, my parents tend to not understand my reasoning until I scream and yell and make life a little miserable for them. My neighbours and other uncles and aunts seem to rule their hearts and brains. It was very tough battling out for a chance to go and live in a city like Bangalore. But they laid down weapons finally. And I landed in the garden city.

Bangalore was full of a positive energy back then. Lots of young people. Studying or working. I loved there. I stayed in a hostel with my friend and made new friends. I joined up for a programming class and spent a lot of time hunting jobs and giving job interviews. It was a total learning experience. I had to take bus to entirely unknown areas and find locations all on my own. I survived all that even though my parents worried like hell. My new made friends and I had great adventures together. Exploring the city. We used to sieve through the different markets for fashionable dresses, shoes and bags. It was a life changing experience for me. Meeting so many people from different parts of the country. Sharing ideas. Listening to different concepts of success.It increased my self confidence and wisdom in general.

I must admit I wasn't successful on the job front but I am going to blame the economic slowdown and the bursting of the dot.com bubble. Not me. I was hugely talented and extremely intelligent. In the end I had to settle for a job at my home town and move back in with my family. But I had already learnt to be unafraid of change or failure. You can only fail if you do not take a chance with yourself.

When we have a dream every step we take towards it will only make us stronger. My favorite song from the movie The Sound of Music has the most gorgeously inspiring verses. Goes like this.....

Climb every mountain,

Search high and low,

Follow every byway,

Every path you know.

Climb every mountain,

Ford every stream,

Follow every rainbow,

'Till you find your dream.

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Watch the video below to see how housing dreams are looking up.

Ray of Light

Most of my days are spent rushing into all sorts of chores and pushing my kids through all their activities. Right from brushing in the morning...all the way to sleep me. It's a task for a parent to actually sit down and admire the children and their sweet innocence in the midst of all the ferrying and rushing. I am beginning to see that as a big mistake. While we do have to ensure that children eat well, learn their lessons and behave with good manners, we also need to listen to their version of events. It may often seem catastrophic to the adult eyes and yet it may have been an earnest sincere effort at something from the child.

It was a particularly trying day for me. I had been going back and forth couple of times. Some chores I was hoping to get done didn't happen. Plans crashed and burned. And there as I walked in, all the magma of the day's frustrations were ready to blow out. The floor was flooded with Lego blocks, sprinkled with snacks and the children were sprawled in front of the telly. My elder one showed me his test results and all I could see were the lost marks. He did pretty well but for a Mom , its never enough. You know your child can do better. But does he need to be so perfect? Isn't that a burden I force on him? I said a few harsh words and yelled at the mess the house was in. I said stuff like just sit in front of cartoon network and eat junk and be happy. I stormed off and jumped into the bed. After a while I got alarmed that there wasn't any noise.

I ran to the living room which had magically transformed !! The Lego s were tucked away and my elder son was sweeping the floor. My younger one was carrying all the footwear deserted at the door to the shoe rack (mine included).My elder one spoke up “Sorry Momma. Please don't be angry. When you are angry we feel very sad. I feel all alone. Without you there is no fun. I will study harder. I will not make any spelling mistakes. I will make sure we both eat food properly.”

His extremely heart rending apology speech felt like a punch in the stomach. It wasn't his responsibility yet he shouldered it. His duty is to be a child. To make a mess and mistakes. That was his right.

Yet it filled me with a light. He did care for my happiness. He didn't hold it against me that I ranted about losing a single mark. He accepted my high expectations.

I hugged him tight. He was a treasure more important than anything. What your child becomes, is your future but who your child is, will always be your utmost happiness. That is what makes your home a little piece of heaven. A safe zone for everyone to do stupid mistakes and learn from them and grow stronger. The world pushes you into a corner, your home is where you recover. 

When children care about happiness other than their own, the world has hope of transformation into a beautiful flower garden. We have to admire what we have and innovate and inspire, rather than the catch up with a maddening zombie crowd.

When I sense a meltdown moment inching towards me, I fish out this ray of light. My children care for my happiness. And I must value their happiness more that any notion of success the world may be blinded in. This is my hope, that I can start with my home to fill the world with a little bit of optimism and love.

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Forsaken

There is a new prompt at Word Castle about the roads untraveled.

A poem with upper limit of 50 words about a secret regret. Here is my take on it.

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Prologue

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My one regret as I look back is when I allowed my parents to throw out a cat and her kittens from our home.

The mother cat had come in to our home as a stray kitten. She was very cute as all kittens are. We developed a bond instantly. We could understand each other. I was around 10 years old. She was my best friend. Then her own kittens arrived. My parents panicked. Pictured an outbreak of kittens. Kittens pouring out of every nook and corner and every wardrobe and cupboard. They elaborately discussed with me the various horrors of cats over running your home. I finally caved in in a weak moment and then they were just dropped off somewhere near a fish market where they would always find food.

I cried every evening after school for the longest time. The tiny fur balls of pure cuteness. I felt guilty as hell. I was haunted by their faces. I had let them down. I never had a pet cat again even though I nursed an injured kitten back to health and fed some strays.

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Forsaken

You taught me to nurture ,

Watched me as I painted

Colours that made no sense to anyone

But love was the colour of your eyes.

I wasn't strong, thought they knew better

I remember your soft paws on my face.

Love can never destroy,

But can love forgive desertion ?